| 9/10/01 | Normal Gas Prices | $1.29 |
| 9/11/01 | Terrorist Attacks | $2.00 |
| 9/12/01 | Gov't Steps in to stop price gouging at gas stations (this will be the first and last time they help) |
$1.49 |
| 01/01/05 | Crazy Dictator in North Korea runs his mouth | $2.00 |
| 01/10/05 | Crazy Dictator in Venezula runs his mouth | $2.09 |
| 01/12/05 | Civil Unrest in Iraq | $2.12 |
| 02/02/05 | Civil Unrest in Venezula | $2.18 |
| 02/14/05 | General "Stock Market Concerns" | $2.29 |
| 02/28/05 | Concerns are forgotten | $2.18 |
| 03/03/05 | Finally, the Prices are going down... | $2.09 |
| 04/01/05 | Just fucking kidding! LOLZ! | $2.29 |
| 05/12/05 | Supply and Demand Issues | $2.39 |
| 05/28/05 | Memorial Day Weekend | $2.49 |
| 06/14/05 | Oil Companies celebrate record profits | $2.34 |
| 07/01/05 | It's a Holiday right? We can charge more, right? | $2.39 |
| 07/09/05 | Hurricane Dennis hits Cuba, Gulf of Mexico | $2.39 |
| 07/10/05 | Oil Companies on Golf Outings Forget to raise Gas Prices | $2.39 |
| 08/25/05 | Hurricane Katrina | $3.09 |
| 08/26/05 | Make up day for forgetting to raise prices for Dennis | $3.29 |
| 08/27/05 | Civil Unrest in the US. People serious consider taking the bus. | $3.29 |
| 08/29/05 | Everyone drives to work, but is really really bitter about it | $3.09 |
| 09/01/05 | Hybrid cars are the new way to save on gas... of course, once you equate the fact it costs several thousand dollars more to buy and maintain a hybrid (not to mention the $4,000 replacement battery at 50k)... |
$3.04 |
| 09/04/05 | Oil Exes go on an extended vacation with new profits | $2.99 |
| 09/11/05 | Nice day for Stock Market Concerns | $3.09 |
| 09/20/05 | Bush opens the oil reserve, saving Americans approx. $3 a week | $2.79 |
| 10/10/05 | Umm....Civil Unrest in Korea, Nigeria, and/or Venezula | $2.89 |
| 10/20/05 | Anti-Bush activists on MySpace plans a "Don't buy gas day". | $2.79 |
| 10/22/05 | Even the MySpace guy that made up the whole oil boycott buys gas. | $2.81 |
| 11/04/05 | Politicans "promise" to change the oil situation | $2.75 |
| 11/05/05 | Yeah, and they also "promised" an improved healthcare system | $2.79 |
| 12/01/05 | Wait, we can raise natural gas prices too!? (high fives all around the board room) |
$2.79 |
| 12/12/05 | Natural Gas rises 200%, gas goes down 7%. | $2.68 |
| 12/13/05 | Raises for oil execs, government kickbacks | $2.72 |
| 12/24/05 | Thousands of oil workers are fired on Xmas Eve (is there any other way?) |
$2.65 |
| 01/14/06 | Natural Gas prices at a record high | $2.67 |
| 02/01/06 | Uh-oh, an unusually warm month...can't make money on natural gas if no one is using their heat... |
$2.78 |
| 02/16/06 | Stock Market Concerns | $2.89 |
| 03/12/06 | EPA lifts many pollution restrictions to curb oil prices. | $2.59 |
| 03/13/06 | After the Oil Companies are done fucking the EPA and the public, promises to call, the bastard never does. |
$2.63 | 03/15/06 | King of Saudi Arabia dies, somehow oil prices go up | $2.78 |
| 04/05/06 | Crazy Dictator in Iran runs his mouth | $2.89 |
| 04/12/06 | Oil Companies defend record profits by lowering prices | $2.64 |
| 04/13/06 | Civil unrest somewhere. | $2.79 |
| 05/11/06 | The World Rejoyces at the birth of Bradgalina | $2.57 |
| 05/28/06 | Hurricane Season Starts, sparking "general concerns" | $2.69 |
| 06/06/06 | Satan's child born, global warming making Earth's climate "tolerable" for devils |
$2.75 |
| 06/15/06 | Oil Execs tell Satan they were here first. Cast Satan back to hell |
$2.69 |
| 06/27/06 | We're just making stuff up now. Throw buzzwords together by throwing darts into a corkboard. "Global concerns" |
$2.71 |
| 06/29/06 | "Global unrest" | $2.73 |
| 06/30/06 | "Civil Concerns and Global Unrest" | $2.74 |
| 07/01/06 | No reason, we're just bastards. Bend over. | $2.79 |
| 07/05/06 | Fireworks scared our cats? | $2.99 |
| 07/06/06 | Crazy Dictator in North Korea runs his mouth. | $3.05 |
And really, what are you going to do about it? Walk? Make your own oil? Well, good luck.