I hate people who use the word blog. Homos. I also hate people who brag about their drinking accomplishments. Especially if they try to abbreviate the liquor company (ie saying JD instead of Jack Daniels, Jager instead of Jaegermeister). Usually, they brag about shots, especially if they do them all "in a row". It's always gotta be in a row.
You never hear someone brag "Yeah man, I had like, six shots of JD spaced out over the course of twenty minutes."
No, it's always, "Yeah man, I had like, six shots of JD in a row." (even though it really was over the course of 20 minutes and you chased them all with Diet Pepsi)
And usually, the bragging poser will tack on some sort of drink you never heard of at the end of the sentence.
"Yeah man, I had like, six shots of JD all in a row, and a Mexican Waffle Iron."
What the fuck is that? Then of course, he's gotta explain what was in the drink; even though it was just a gay tropical cruise mix drink, he's gotta make it sound as bad ass as possible by rattling off all of the liquor brands in the drink...
"You never heard of a Mexican Waffle Iron? It's Tequila, absolut, grey goose...Dude, you've gotta try it."
I hate when I see two guys with backwards hats brag about their drinking last night. No one cares how many beers you had last night. You're exaggerating anyway. No one's impressed. Stop high-fiving each other. True alcoholics and drinkers are the best, since they don't need to brag about drinking to their friends.
I wish I could wear a hat. No, seriously. I can't. Wearing a hat makes me look like a pubescent twelve year old like Ash from Pokemon.
And why is Pokemon still on the air? Do people still play that? I was definitely a Pokemon master in the 7th grade on my five and a half pound black and white GameBoy. (I later made friends in the 8th grade and discovered masterbating, so there was really no need to continue playing Pokemon). God, that show is so ridiculous. What if that was real life? Think about how ridiculous that would be. And you know that hippies would be protesting it because it’s cruelty to animals.
Speaking of animals, I made a very special video that involves animals. Aptly titled, Safari in My Pants, I submitted it to UthTv (which turned me down) and YouTube (which banned it). Plus my site has been officially banned at my work. How dare they stifle my freedom of speech. This is America, not Qatar.
Click to play, and let Freedom Ring.